Mother remembered

When I started this blog in March 2010, I wanted it to be only about perfume, seen through my eyes, and in many ways I still do. However, every now and then I share something slightly more personal on here, which is very unlike me actually. I am an intensely private person, to the extent that I'm sure many of my colleagues over the years, and even friends, have probably found this reticence quite frustrating. So, surprise surprise, I reveal all on the internet instead!

But seriously, I guess there is that degree of anonymity that comes with being online that makes it easier to share certain experiences, just like it is easier to email someone about something contentious, say, rather than look them in the eye and have to deliver the same news. Perhaps that is why people dump their boyfriends, girlfriends and partners on Facebook for example...

Today is the sixth anniversary of my mother's death. She died primarily from a lung disease called COPD, which stands for Cronic Obstructive Pulmonary Disorder, if ever a word of warning to those of you who smoke heavily - COPD is almost certainly a result most of the time of heavy and sustained smoking. My mum used to smoke about 40-60 cigarettes a day, although to her credit she gave up in the mid-eighties and died in 2005. This still goes to show though that the damage was done much earlier, despite giving up almost twenty years before her death at 65.

Technical details aside, this is a difficult time of year for me, my dad and my two sisters. I'm not going to analyse the grief associated with the death of a close family member. Too many of you probably are already more than well aware of this, and each person experiences grief and recovers from it (as much as one can) in a very unique and personal way. I can only speak for myself, and say that six years later the pain and grief is easier to bear, but it is still difficult. I expect it will be for the rest of my life.

So I dedicate this post, trivial as it might seem, to the memory of my mother, who meant so many different things to different people, and hope that one day we shall be reunited.